Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
New Year
Ok so it's a new year and like most people I am starting it off trying to get of the weight I have gained. I am up to 195lbs and I am not liking it at all. I have worked out 3 days in a row and today instead of working out I went to my first OA meeting. I have to say I was full of anxiety however I am going to give it a try. I really really don't want to continue on the upward journey of weight gain. My depression is a lot better now that my doctor has finally found the drugs that work. Here are some things that have happened over the past few months.
We lost Sandra (Vicky, Tommy and Gary's mom), Larry (Aunt Bonnie's husband) and Symona (co-worker) all to cancer in what seemed like one right after another. Then we lost Debbie (Ray and Angie's mom, Matthew and Aaron's grandmother) and Ronnie (Aunt Darlene's husband) just a few days ago. I am so tired of all of the loss. I understand it is much better to be home with God than it is to be here. But it doesn't stop the pain that myself and my family are going through. It just sucks. There is nothing you can say to anyone to let them know how sorry you are for their loss. There are not enough hugs. Not enough anything. Times like these I really wish I had my mom here to talk to.
Work is going great. Family is fine. Home is fine. Nothing new to report on anything there.
After I went to the OA meeting tonight I started feeling very lonely and wanted to cry. I tried to explain it to Ben that I just don't have anyone that can relate to what I am going through. I know I have all of the support from family and friends that a person could ever ask for but they don't know what I am going through. I want to talk to others about what they are going through. I want someone to relate to my over-eating food addiction. Ok I'm not saying that I don't have anyone that listens to me because I do. But they just don't understand what I am feeling. I am being giving ideas on how to change my habits instead of someone just understanding and communicating with me about what's going on.
That's all for now!
We lost Sandra (Vicky, Tommy and Gary's mom), Larry (Aunt Bonnie's husband) and Symona (co-worker) all to cancer in what seemed like one right after another. Then we lost Debbie (Ray and Angie's mom, Matthew and Aaron's grandmother) and Ronnie (Aunt Darlene's husband) just a few days ago. I am so tired of all of the loss. I understand it is much better to be home with God than it is to be here. But it doesn't stop the pain that myself and my family are going through. It just sucks. There is nothing you can say to anyone to let them know how sorry you are for their loss. There are not enough hugs. Not enough anything. Times like these I really wish I had my mom here to talk to.
Work is going great. Family is fine. Home is fine. Nothing new to report on anything there.
After I went to the OA meeting tonight I started feeling very lonely and wanted to cry. I tried to explain it to Ben that I just don't have anyone that can relate to what I am going through. I know I have all of the support from family and friends that a person could ever ask for but they don't know what I am going through. I want to talk to others about what they are going through. I want someone to relate to my over-eating food addiction. Ok I'm not saying that I don't have anyone that listens to me because I do. But they just don't understand what I am feeling. I am being giving ideas on how to change my habits instead of someone just understanding and communicating with me about what's going on.
That's all for now!
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