Missing momma something aweful

Not a day goes by that I don't think about the moment me and JT were told that she didn't make it. Not a day goes by that I don't think about something that she did or said. I am missing her so bad right now. As I was leaving work today I noticed that I waved at the security guard exactly the same way she would wave at him. The holidays are right around the corner... what do I do? I don't want to celebrate without her. My heart is breaking!!! How do I stay the strong one, how did she stay the strong one? I feel so lost. She is not in pain anymore, how can I be so selfish to want her to be here with me? No one to comfort me just because I need to be comforted. No one to love me just because I am me. No one to yell at me because I am in trouble. I don't want momma to be gone, I want to be selfish and pick up the phone and call her just to hear her say she loves me. Why did God need to take my mom? Why did he call her home so soon? Why must there be so much pain with losing her?

I want my momma!!!!!!!