Tuesday February 21, 2012

Today is Tuesday February 21, 2012 and I weighed in at 169lbs
Breakfast - Atkins Protein Bar
Lunch - 2 pieces of crab meat, cheese snack and a slice of banana nut bread
Dinner - 1 piece of pork loin, 2 tbsp of corn, 2 tbsp of green beans
Snacks - Protein Bar, Cheese Snack, peanut butter (all after dinner)
Took all of my vitamins and meds

At 7pm started on my 3rd glass of water

Got to sleep in this morning and woke up at 8:30 to a voice in my dreams telling me I needed to go to sleep. Weird but it woke me up. I spent the day working and listening to Sylvia Browne. I wasn't so stressed today even though today was the 1st day of my period.

Read some of Cirque Du Freak book 8 while I was on lunch.

Received an email from S2 teacher saying that he wasn't doing too well and was talking during class so I had to have S2 come home so we could talk to him about it. The conversation went well. He understood our side and we understood his side.

Nephew called while we were having our conversation with S2 and asked if he could come back to live with us. I was a little rude but apologized for it and let him know it was fine.

So after dinner I finished Cirque Du Freak book 8, also finished my 3rd glass of water. I need to work on that.

Ok I did find myself getting edgy after work. DH wanted... well you know.. and I just didn't and wasn't into it. It really bugged me that he couldn't see that in my reaction but I guess I played it off so that he didn't notice. I have been snapping at all that talk to me since then.

Well it's 10pm, I will need to get to sleep soon in order to get up for work in the morning.

Good Night world!

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5 Months Post Op

I weighed in at 189 on 02/07/11

I have been exercising some, Zumba once, running with the boys, walking on the treadmill.

I have a feeling that I may have hit the point where exercise is more critical. I need to watch my carbs and calories

Week 24

Weekly weigh in
Highest weight June 2010 - 252
Surgery weight Sept 7, 2010 - 229
Today's weight Feb 22, 2011 - 186.2

Total lbs lost - 66
Total inches lost - 24

Week 25
Weekly Weigh In
Highest Weight June 2010 - 252

Surgery Weight Sept 7, 2010 - 229

Last Weeks Weight Feb, 22, 2011 - 186.2

Today's Weight March 1, 2011 - 185.4

Loss .8lbs

Feelings and more feelings

Yesterday Jan 22nd 2010, my grandmother, my moms mom, granny Meador passed away. Me and my sister Tonia were able to see her on Friday Jan 21st. Granny would have been 89 years old next month. She lived a very long and happy life. She is now in heaven with 2 of her daughters, my mom (Mildred) and Ruby.

Today Jan 23rd 2010 is the 7 year anniversary of my grandmother, my dads mom, granny Loggins death.

This is just too overwhelming. We lost momma just 3 months ago and now we have lost granny Meador and its the anniversary of our other granny's death. I don't know how to handle all of these feelings. I want to cry, I want to sleep, I want to scream at everyone, I want to hide. God is not suppose to give you anything you can not handle well sometimes I think he is asking a little too much from me and my family. My faith is really being tested. My sanity is really being tested. But you know what, I will be strong, I will survive, and I will continue to love!

4 Months Post Op

Not much to tell about the previous month. I got through Christmas just fine. I still have cravings for sweets and I eat them. I do not get all of my water in. It is just hard for me to drink when I am not thirsty. I get all of my protein from food. Every now and then I might have a protein shake but it's more to have one than to need one. I have not been exercising. I don't have an excuse for that except I just don't want to. I am dropping inches so I have had to get a small amount of clothes. I have had some great friends give me some clothes over the past 4 months and boy has it helped. I have been watching a lot of YouTube Videos for VSG. They remind me that I am not the only one out there going through this. So many of the little things that you don't think about someone else may talk about and you are like "Yeah, that is what's happening to me". I am trying to decide at 4 months out if I want to start doing YouTube Videos. It seems really funny to me to sit and talk to myself. I don't know, I may give it a try.

Well here are my numbers:

	Weight	Neck	Chest	Waist	Hip
09/07/2010	229	17	46.5	42.5	47.5
10/07/2010	212.8
11/07/2010	204.8	16	44	40	44
12/07/2010	198.4	15.5	44	39	43
01/07/2011	192.6	15.25	42	37.5	42.5
Loss	36.4	1.75	4.5	5	5

Highest WT 07/29/10	248.8
Current WT 01/07/11	192.6
Loss	56.2

Food Addiction

I am addicted to food. Let me rephrase that I am addicted to sugary fatty foods.

I am so afraid of messing up. I wish that this surgery could cure food addiction. I seem to be eating everything that is bad for me. Mostly when I am at home. I know it is boredom and what do I do? I head to the fridge and/or the cabinets trying to find something to eat. Why do I even have the bad stuff in the house? That is a good question. I guess that will be the question I ask myself when I go to the grocery store tonight.

What to do about boredom. Well I could make all kinds of promises but I know that I won't keep those promises. All I want to do when I am at home is sit and watch TV. I don't want to get up and work out or clean the house or get some kind of hobby. I just want my mind to shut off.

Even though the weight is coming off slowly and the inches are coming off, I know in the back of my mind that if I continue to eat the way that I do that I will gain the weight back. That is unacceptable to me. But how do I get my brain to work with me and not against me? Oh this is so hard!!!!

3 Months Post Op

I am 3 months post op!

 Weight

July 29th - 248.8
Sept 7th - 229
Oct 7th - 212.8
Nov 7th - 204.8
Dec 7th - 198.4

So that is a total loss of 50.4lbs since July and 30.6lbs since surgery.

Well I guess we can start off by saying that Thanksgiving went better than I expected it to go. At first I didn't know if I could or wanted to be around anyone since Momma passed away. But I did. And it was wonderful to be around so much of my family. My little sister Angel, hosted her first Thanksgiving dinner at her house. I had small bites of just about everything there. Then my older sister Tonia, had Thanksgiving at her house, and I had small bites of just about everything there. It went very well.

My eating is still the same as last month. Still learning how fast, how much and what I can eat. When I eat sweets, like ice cream, I get a major sugar rush and feel sick to my stomach. That didn't happen before. So guess what, that has curbed my desire for sweets.

I have started walking at the YMCA 1 to 2 times a week. I know that is not much but at least it is something. I take the stairs at work and I park further away from the building.

All of my clothes are so loose now. However, I'm not quite ready for the next size down in pants. I need a little more off from around my belly in order to go down a size.

I feel so much better now. I can walk up the stairs without feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack. I cross my legs all the time now. I can sit indian style. My sons can pick me up like a rag doll. And the best thing I am under 200lbs for the first time in 14 years.

Love my sleeve!