Monday March 5, 2012

Didn't weigh in today

What I've eaten so far today

2 scrambled eggs with 1 piece of toast
Grande Marble Mocha Machiato with a slice of banana nut bread
Carb Master Blackberry yogurt
Small portion of roast beef, carrots, green beans
Hershey Bar
2 Cheese Sticks

Still not doing good on my water. I get maybe 4 glasses in everyday. Without ice it's a 12oz glass of water, with ice it's a 10oz glass of water. It normally takes me a while to drink it so the ice is already melted making it a 12oz glass. So I need to add a few more glasses.

I went to see the dentist today about my jaw. It has been hurting me for a month now.  When I got my teeth cleaned last month my jaw popped and it has been hurting. It gives me a earache and a headache. I also hurts to eat the tougher foods. He gave me some meds and told me to wear a night guard to keep from grinding my teeth at night. He also said it is something that will need to be worked out with meds.

I had to borrow money from my nephew to get my meds that cost $75 for 5 prescriptions. And I had to borrow money from S1 to pay the rent. I don't understand why our money goes so fast, we didn't even do anything this weekend and it was all gone. Sucks a lot of the time but have to be thankful that we all have jobs and that we are all willing to pitch in and help pay the bills around here.

I am feeling more anxiety today and had to take more of meds than usual. I didn't find myself eating though which is very good. Luckily I was working when the anxiety was at it's highest so that kept me distracted and away from the fridge. Since I got off work I have eaten my dinner and snack. I have kept busy by looking at the OH website and now writing my blog. But it will be time to take my meds again in a little while and go to sleep and that tends to be when I want to eat. I think I am fighting going to sleep but don't know why because I am taking something to put me to sleep. Weird I know. But I believe I am weird in a lot of ways.

Now that I have it on my mind let's look at the ways that I am weird
1. I want attention but can not stand to be around anyone
2. I talk to myself inside my head, having real conversations on whatever it is that I am thinking about.
3. I worry about what other people all of the time but don't want to take the time to check on them because I don't want to have to deal with them
4. I am scared to go anywhere by myself because I believe something is going to happen to me even though in reality I know there is a very slim chance of that happening. I also allow this feeling to keep me from doing almost everything in my life. Including hanging out with friends, exercising, sitting outside, going walking...I could go on

Well I know there is more but can't think of anything else right now.